Beyond [chemo]Therapy

Strictly Peer Pressure by Ashlee Edgemon and Lee Hollis Bussie and my apparent need to be entertaining has caused me to start this blog. This will be an ongoing diary about me and my battle with Cancer. If I stop posting abruptly, just assume I died. I hope to be entertaining, inspiring, and dead sexy.

Today’s Blog about J.Self….and a few tidbits about me..

This will be short…(Insert yet another Penis Joke Here) Yet I figured I needed to do something…. So FIRST…about MY LIFE…

1) It’s the day after Chemo…

AND I FEEL GREAT! Like, I was more tired than usual..but other then that..NO SIDE EFFECTS *Knock on wood (visualize: either real wood…or a penis joke here as well, if you prefer) *  I really attribute it to everyones positive vibes. So THANK YOU ALL..for helping me HEAL. WHOOPEE!!!

2) I Auditioned for “The Producers” today..

…And this, too, went very well.  NOW, that being said…I don’t blame the director for not casting me well or not casting me at all due to the fact that 1) They don’t use understudy’s and 2) My health condition causes some concern.  But I auditoned very well and am excited to come back for callbacks…I WANNA BE A PRODUCER BEEOTCH!!

I had a delightful day…but now…I want to dedicate this next photo montage to Johnny Self.  Why Selfie? You ask? Well..cuz he posted something on my facebook like a little bitch…

HOWEVER, he’s great.  Really. He was the FIRST person at WIU who I looked up to that took me aside and said “Hey man, I like your work..you’re going to have a great career here.” I’ll always remember that, Selfie…so Thank You…Bunches.  ALSO, Selfie and I did a scene once in class where he proceded to grab my laptop and look up gay porn with it…talk about classy.  Yet somehow, in that weirdness, I learned more about acting then I ever have.  He taught me so much in SO little time and will always be a major inspiration to me…AND he gave me his graduation gown….so when I graduate….it’ll be like he’s graduating…AGAIN…..So..THANK YOU J.SELF….and with that being said…here is your montage…you sexy beast…P.S., you’re future wife is hot…

YEAH..SO WHAT SELF…I started throwing in pictures of me…Got a beef? It’s my blog..asshole.  P.S. Look at you checking out Allie’s boobies in the lower right hand corner….you dog you.

So Self..I hope this made you happy…oh yeah..and one more thing…

                      

                         I WIN!!!!!! ALWAYS….inside jokes are fantastic…

Much love all…

Posted 3 years ago

STEP 1: Cut a Hole in a Box!/ A New Hope

In a perfect world, I think I would wait until I felt a little better to start writing this blog….BUT I just woke up from a nap and my mom was in the room watching T.V.  So I either had to do a little blogging or watch the most influential television show in the history of modern television…….               

SHOOT ME IN THE FACE…..HARD….WITH A SUPERSOAKER!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

                                

                       TRUE FACT- This was the first ever Super Soaker I owned.

Anyway, “The Bachelorette” and “Super Soakers” have swayed me from my previous point…which was really why you guys are trying to read this…Today was…MY FIRST DAY OF CHEMOTHERAPY!!!!!!!!!!

Chemotherapy. Was. Awesome.  It was Christmas, My Birthday, Losing My Virginity, and eating the edible Fun-Dip Stick for the first time- ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. And YES, I totally just lied to you…..BUT…let me give you the play by play of my day..that’ll make things EXCITING and make you feel more apart of the JOURNEY!

1) I WOKE UP

I’m sure all of you are like….”Wait a minute, Chad, I also woke up.” Well…my waking up was different.  So suck it. Bitches. Super Bitches.

Jokesys!! But my waking up was different.  Today was like Anti-Christmas when you are 5-years old.  You know how when you are 5 years old and you want NOTHING more than to wake up at 4:17 a.m. and jump on your parents faces and and say…

"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! SANTA TIME! HEY! HEY! HEY!"

And you see the look in your father’s eye that really says…

"You little asshole, I just hid your presents under the tree 23 minutes ago! It’s not light out for the next 5 hours!"

Yeah, well…that didn’t happen today. Not. At. All.  I woke up at 6:45 and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.  I was scared. I’m not gunna lie.  I was really, really, really, really scared.  I felt like Nazi’s were chasing after me. <————-THAT BEING SAID….I’d like to take this time to say that I WILL be auditioning for “The Producers” tomorrow…..and playing a Nazi has always been a dream of mine…

                                   

Okay, so I woke up, was scared real bad and did the only thing I knew what to do…Put in My Contacts.  I CANNOT see without them.  THEN, after that..I ate some food and showered..I was still scared…but I’ve been eating for so long that I was able to do it FLAWLESSLY.  I then cleaned up the wound on my shouler…WHICH, if you haven’t seen it…is NASTY.  It’s like I was beaten in the shoulder with a baseball.  It’s healing well though and my mobility improves all the time., so that was a plus.  After I cleaned my wound I put on my Black, lacey, sexy Aeropostle shirt on and HIT the road…with my insane mother…yikes..which leads to step 2..

2) I DROVE THERE

This wasn’t too bad.  My mom is a nut-job though.  I mean, in a good way. She just cares too much..and asks too many questions, all the time, it’s frustrating.  She’s just being a mom I guess.  On the ride there I had small text conversations with Erin Norlie and Kelly Lohrenz and then I prepared to get posioned up….while “preparing” I went through this checklist in my mind….

1.) Am I ready to be strong?

2.) Did I take my Medicine?

3.) Did I drink all the fluids I was suppose to?

4.) How the hell am I going to feel when this is done?

5.) Will it effect my brain so much that crazy people (you ALL know who i’m talking about) seem sane.

6.) Will I pee my pants?

7.) Will Masterbating still be as fun?

8.) Have I taken care of myself enough so this wont be painful.

9.) Why am I obsessed with semi-relevent/semi-inappropriate check lists?

                                          

Anyway..the ride was done…I got there and had to witness the WORST THING OF ALL…it’s so bad I add it to my check list…

3) I GOT TO THE LOBBY AND WITNESSED ALOT OF OLD, SICKLY PEOPLE…ALOT

Both times I’ve gone into the waiting room for this place it has been me and 4 or 5 other people all clearly in their 60’s and 70’s and all who look sick/feel sick/can barely move.  Nothing is scarier than looking at those people and being like “Oh God, please don’t let that be me…” Anyway..THAT IS ALL.

4) TURNED INTO A BLOODY ROBOT

Shortly after I got into the Bingo Hall waiting room I got called in to get my blood drawn from the NEW AND IMPROVED PORT. YIPPEE!!!!  The woman pretty much just stuck a needle in my chest and started pouring blood into a vile.  It was pretty intense to see that stuff coming from my chest.  Almost as intense as the series finale of LOST Rosanne.  After she drew all the blood from me she left the needle in me and made me wait for blood results….It was about as fun as waiting in line for the “Ragin’ Bull” in 103 degree heat.   Not.

5) MEET WITH THE MAIN DOCTOR

My main doctor came in when results were done and let me knew how healthy I was.  Like she can’t believe how healthy I am..ya know, except for the Cancer part.  She told me my prognosis was great and that she still predicts a totally full recovery.  She then proceded to ask ME if I had any questions..I had a few…and my mom had 2,342 (I counted).  2,340 of them had been previously answered, BUT I just bit my tounge as these questions got answered again.  She then gave me a list of new medicines I had to take and escorted me  to…

HAPPY CHEMOTHERAPY LAND!!!!!!!!!!

                                        

Chemotherapy Land…or “C-Land” as I call it…..was not as wonderous as I had heard of.  Now to be fair, I haven’t heard great things and I’m kind of just lying to you.  Chemotherapy takes about an hour and 15 minutes usually…TODAY mine took 2 hours and 30 minutes….I much rather woudl have spent that time watching “Soul Plane”..but whatever.

The Nurse injected me with 4 different medicines at 4 different times….each one easier then the next.  I don’t feel ANY effect now…but apparently I can start to feel it in the next 24-48 hours.  I also may start losing hair in the next 2 weeks or so..so I’m REALLY excited to be a beautiful bald bombshell (I love alliteration).

OH, you may have asked yourself…

SELF (Not Jonathon): Why did Chad’s Chemo takes double the time today?

Good Question!!  The reason that is, is because there was one medicine that they needed to make sure I wasn’t allergic to so they had to give me a shot first and I had to wait for an hour to make sure I wasn’t allergic to it…sooo THERE IS YOUR ANSWER.

Afterwards I went and got my medicine and THEN went and got a strawberry/rasberry Smoothie that was AWESOME.  I kinda felt that my stomach might hurt a couple times throughout the night and it never REALLY did.  So..right now my hopes are up….

You know who I thank for my good health right now?  ALL OF YOU. (And my stedy masturbation schedule)

BUT, I mostly thank you..YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU and all your kind thoughts are amazing.  I Love You All!!!

Thank’s all so much, guys.  I’ll keep ya updated….

Posted 3 years ago

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I’M A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!

Too “tired” to Blog..will do that LATER….but wanted to show you a picture that I took of myself RIGHT after Chemo….it’s crazy…

                        

The minute they started injecting me my skin turned red and bulky and my shirt just ripped off of me. It. Was. Awesome.  My black fingernails are a TURN-OFF to most ladies, BUT I think I make up for it with my new-and-improved Massive Red Cock.  It’s Huge……real huge…….(Funny metaphor I can’t think of at the present moment) Huge!!!!!!

I can’t wait to share more with you…but I’m starting to feel icky right now…all-in-all, I expected this.  I’ll be back soon though, kids.

Posted 3 years ago

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Don&#8217;t Ever Forget This&#8230;&#8230;

Don’t Ever Forget This……

Posted 3 years ago

Chemotherapy-Eve OR “How to Fail in Realtionships Without Really Trying.”

I’d like to start my blog off with a picture.  This way, I can set the tone. I can, “get the ball rollin’” if you will.  So….here it is.

Welp….that was inspirational.  *Comes to realization* Now I need to shower. I feel very greasy after a “Long Days Work Sittin’ On My Ass”, and I now think it’s appropriate for me to clean myself off.  For Real, I’m going to take a shower. Right Now.   …It’s 1:35 PM, I’ll let you know when I’m out in order to “set the mood” if you are into “Blogger-Roleplaying” like I am.  I have no clue what that means..I just created that…Ugh. Cancer made me retarded. 

(It’s now 1:50 PM…Twenty Minutes have Elapsed)

Okay, so I haven’t showered yet…but I HAVE been playing Family Feud.  SO, I’m going to finish playing Family Feud and then shower and then get back to writing this..I promise.  In FACT, I’ll even make the heading for my next couple of thoughts right now…

CHEMOTHERAPY-EVE

(2:12 PM…It’s GO time.)

Okay, before I start to “meat” of this post..I’m gunna give ya’ll a little “Potatoes”.  Tomorrow I start Chemo. I. AM. THRILLED.  In my mind I’m trying to treat it like Christmas.  Like, tomorrow I wake up and instead of a fat man in a red suit giving me gifts, a chubby nurse in a white outfit will give me posions through my chest.  Can’t we all see the comparisons?  Anyone?  Either way, tomorrow will be the start of an incredible journey and means one less treatment until I am done. Yipee.  P.S. I can’t wait to lose my hair and look like a total tool-bag.

                                       

                                                 COMING SOON- HOT!!!!

How To Fail in Relationships Without Really Trying.

I’ll try to make this as painless as possible, yet also try to make it as heartfelt and as honest as possible too.  Since that is what everyone wants, right? Honesty.  Or atleast their definition of “Honesty”.  Anyway, many of you might be asking why I feel the need to write this.  WELL, I’m going to be honest…I wrote some things in my last post which influenced Jillian to post on her blog some stuff which in return caused me to be influenced to write some more stuff.  I know that many of you now are probably like, “OH SHIT A BLOGGING FIGHT-WAR!! BLAHH!!!”  But I really don’t picture it like that..At. All.  I really feel like we are on “good terms” or atleast if not “good terms” then we are on “terms”, ha.  We certinaly aren’t on “bad terms”.  To prove that to you, I’ll post a picture of us in happier times….

                                              

                                                    Aren’t we cute?

                                            P.S. I flippin’ love your hat, Lee

                                  P.P.S. I also love the left side of your face, Lee

I ALREADY know that people are going to think that this post is going to be laced with sarcasm and is mean-spirited, but I promise you it’s not.  If anything, it’s an open examination at realtionships and why they work and why they don’t.  And I don’t really care, I’ll name names…because even if I don’t name names, you’ll all know who I’m talking about anyway, so what’s the point?

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, Jillian and I are on “terms”.  I just think that’s important to know.  What’s also important to know, atleast from my point-of-view is…our relationship didn’t work out.  Is that a good thing? NO.  Is that a bad thing? NO.  It’s JUST a thing.  It’s an experience. And Yes, break-ups suck.  They are awful. Not one person likes them. They are awkward at best and just totally unenjoyable, but this fact of life is my first point…..

1) 95% Of Relationships DON’T LAST….

The Quicker you learn that…the quicker the healing can happen.  I mean, think about it.  EVERYONE dates ALOT of people in their respective lives…and when it comes down to it…you are (supposed) to end up with ONE person.  You need to find out what is right for you…and if it’s NOT right for you 100% completely, then it should end..because they are not THE ONE.  Because..we all can only choose ONE person…Unless we are Hugh Hefner….

                                               

Now, I’m not saying the minute you find something wrong with your significant other that you should dump them to the side of the road. Not at all.  Because, no ones perfect.  If I got dumped everytime someone found something wrong with me, then all of my relationships would last about as fast as I last in the sack…..                                  

*Awkward Silence*

That was another..joke. I promise.

ANYWAY, I guess I sometimes can come across as a dick when it comes to relationships ending because I seem to “move-on quickly” and that isn’t really the case.  I hate break-up’s and they really make my heart hurt…it’s never a good feeling.  However, I also know that most relationships don’t last and……

2) Every Relationship is a Learning Experience

At the VERY least…even if you dated the biggest tool-bag in the world or someone who you thought was Prince or Princess Charming..when that relationship ends it’s important to realize that YOU ARE NOW A BETTER PERSON.  In SOME WAY that person has shaped your heart and shaped your life and now you are forever changed.  Now, I’m not saying that change is HUGE or anything, but you DID learn something and now when you get involved with someone else, you’ll be able to be a better boyfriend/girlfriend for it.  Now, we all still make mistakes…I STILL make alot of them.  BUT out of the 4 girls I’ve “seriously” dated in my life I know I’ve grown with each of them (Insert Fat Joke Here) and will enter my next relationship knowing how to deal with certain situations better.

So, To Conclude This Point, Break-Ups aren’t THE WORST thing in the world, because you become a better person becasue of it….

3) Even though Break-Ups aren’t the WORST..they STILL SUCK

Human’s are goofy.  And Break-Ups are never fun.  Even if I want to just “Move-On” it’s impossible.  Even if I KNOW the break-up is the right thing to do, it still isn’t fun. At All. The heart takes TIME to heal…and SHOULD heal before you MOVE ON..because if it doesn’t…the next person you get involved with will get the short end of the stick…and that is NOT a penis joke.

4) People are SELFISH

This isn’t a REAL point…..but just a question that I’d love to have answered.  How come after a break-up I feel like I can do whatever I want, I can Hump, Kiss, Dirty Dance, Buy Drinks, Go on Dates with WHOEVER..because MY RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.  Yet when I see someone else being happy with someone else it feels like I’ve been stabbed in the heart with a dull sword..OVER and OVER and OVER again.  I wonder if they borrowed their sword from DC Wright?

                                                   

I know that if I can MOVE ON that person should be able to, too…yet I don’t like.  I KNOW I’m not ALONE here. I KNOW Jillian can think she can do whatever she wants but if I do that it breaks her heart..and I know that EVERY OTHER COUPLE IN THE WORLD feels the same way…So don’t look at me like I’m a jerk..I’m just stating philisophical questions..M’kay?

5) Once Again, What was my point?

I’m dissipointed with myself.  Blogging is hard.  I TOTALLY had a point to this whole relationship stuff…yet I’ve lost it..completely. I apologize.  I think I’m just going to go watch the Blackhawks and slowly die of Cancer. Ugh. I apologize…I really do.

HOWEVER, I hope reading about my perspective on relationships was awesome for you.  If anything, it was good for me to just write about it, and I hope it made some sort of sense….Let me try my best to conclude really quick…

1) Relationships are Awesome

2) Break-Ups are Not

3) You can Learn from Break-Ups

4) Break-Ups are NOT the end of the world..

5) Eventually, You’ll find someone..I promise

6) I’m sorry if you don’t find someone.

7) I’m not good in bed.

8) I wish I had a bigger weiner.

9) DC Wright is Handsome.

10) This Blog needs to end.

Sorry for Wasting your time.  *Cough* I have Cancer *Cough* Forgive me…

Hugs and Kisses.

P.S. I still haven’t showered.

Posted 3 years ago

Posted 3 years ago

Quote

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.

Doug Firebaugh

Posted 3 years ago

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Woke up today singing "We&#8217;re Not Sorry".  Weird.

Woke up today singing "We’re Not Sorry".  Weird.

Posted 3 years ago

**Cough Cough** Bed Time!

                                    Who’s Tired?!? THIS GUY!

                   

HOWEVER, I think I said something crazy about posting again before I went to bed, so I feel that I must do it, FOR YOU PEOPLE. (YOU PEOPLE: Meaning, the 2 people that read this…me…and….umm..YOU PEOPLE: Meaning, the 1 person that reads this)  Anyway, enough of the excuses and back to the writing….

First and Foremost, Ashlee Edgemon made me cry today by reading her blog.  It was very sweet.  For those who don’t know, she’s dedicating 2010 to me.  I think that’s so amazing, HOWEVER I also think that that January 1st, 2011 I’m going to give her a call and be a total doucher.  I imagine the call will go like this….

((Ring Ring))

Ashlee: Hey Chad, Happy New Year!!

Chad: You mean Happy Not-Chad Year!?!?

Ashlee: What?

Chad: You know what I’m talking about.  I hope you fail.

Ashlee: Are you serious?

Chad: Fail.

Ashlee: Chad..

Chad: Fail..

Ashlee: Ch.

Chad: FAIL!!!!

Ashlee: Um. Alright…

Chad: P.S. I’M STEALING YOUR DOG!!!

((Hang Up))

After this phone call I expect Ashlee to write a pretty snarky blog about me and then I expect Chief to come to my house and booby-trap it. (hehe…booby) I imagine Chief is way tricker than Macully Culkin and will really mess my shit up.  Welp, atleast I have something to look forward to in 2011. Well, that and, ya know, not having Cancer.

!!!!!!!NEW TOPIC!!!!!!!

Okay, so this summer is going to suck.  Not only do I have to do Chemotherapy and not do Tecumseh! like I planned, I also have to do “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” with Kyle Motsinger.  Yuck!  ;-)  Jokes, of course…Spelling Bee will defintely be like one of the highlights of my summer since I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do much else.

Another crappy thing about summer is that I start to miss people about 14 minutes after they leave and then I think about them all summer.  Danny JUST left my house yesterday and I weep for his return already…and Drew is STILL at my house but he leaves tomorrow and I’m already dreading his departure.  I think I might go all “creepy gay kid from Wedding Crashers” on him and tie him to the bed and play a little tummy sticks…..

                           

                                        **Awkward Silence**

I’m joking.  **Silence** Cool.

So is it weird to be anxious about Chemo?  I really am.  I want to get it started….and want to get it over with.  I’m strangly excited to see how things affect my body.  The meds have already made me lose my appitite yet continue to gain weight so I’m REALLY excited to see what Chemo-Posion is going to do to me.  I can’t wait to be a bald 300-pound guy….If I fall in chocolate pudding I think I’ll look just like Fat Albert.  Fantastic.

(I’d like to take this moment to say, Yes I know I’m going off on tangent after tangent…but I am very tired and not thinking properly..so just let my Stream-of-Concious go…PLEASE)

There is nothing cool about getting Cancer..nothing…but you LEARN ALOT.  Alot about yourself and Alot about other people…and when you see other people not cherish life the way you do..it’s just sad.  I wish for all the people that I know that every single person will learn to love themselves and each other and I will vow to love them in return.

Wow, that was sappy like Aunt Jemima Syrup.  Yuck.

So, in love life news- I have a crush on someone.  AND NO IT’S NOT EGLA.  So I’m pretty pumped about it….things are just hard because

1) It’s summer

2) I get self-concious because I have Crappy cancer.

I feel like it’s impossible for people to enjoy my company when I have **Cough Cough** Hodgkins Lymphoma **Cough Cough**

We’ll see what the summer brings I suppose.

P.S. I don’t watch LOST…and I don’t care about LOST..and ESPN is all LOST themed tonight…I have a messaged for YOU, ESPN…

ESPN…I WATCH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SPORTS AND NOT “LOST-RELATED” THEREFORE, I WANT YOU TO KEEP IT THAT WAY…ASSHOLES.

P.P.S. Thanks for the Hat, Lee.  You’re cool for a black guy.

P.P.S.S. Once again, Ashlee..you are really sweet and I love you to death…with your drive and determination I’m sure you will have more success then anyone else I know involved in theatre…except Micah..he’s equity.

                                         

P.P.S.S.S.P.S.P.  I PROMISE to connect my thoughts more as I get used to Blogging.  It’ll be a work in progress.  I also will have more to talk about soon as I start treatment and hopefully start rehearsals for “The Producers”. We’ll see though.  Alright, I love you all….talk to ya soon.

WORD OF THE DAY: HOT POCKETS (Yeah, so what if it’s two words…I have Cancer…asshole)

Posted 3 years ago

I’m a Libra NOT a Cancer

Damn you Ashlee and Lee. Damn You. Me and This Child are Pissed!!                                  Me and This Baby Hate Lee and Ashlee 

"Why Pissed?" You ask? Well, let me tell you why.  I have an addictive personality and you guys getting me on this "Blogging" thing is really gunna take up alot of my time.  I was planning on spending this summer dying of cancer, but now I’m going to have to blog instead. *Angry Sigh* Fucking Tool-Bags.

ANYWAY- On a semi-serious note: Me blogging is probably a good idea since I’ve already wrote a 10-minute play called “Beyond [chemo]Therapy” and was planning on adding to it this summer.  This way I can keep a running diary on my life on the El Computerdoro without having to write it down in a stupid book and getting my hand all cramped and stuff.  Also, doing it online means I can avoid calling it a diary…which is good for two reasons…the reasons are as follows:

1) I maintain my masculinity because I’m not writing in a “Diary”

2) I won’t compare myself to Anne Frank which is good for two more sub reasons..

               A) I don’t like Attics.

               B) I don’t like Nazi’s. (Unless they are big-breatsed women nazi’s wearing leather)

SO..from this point forward I will be a “blogger” I suppose, which is better then being a “booger” or a “flogger”, and will write about my feelings and the goings-ons in my life involving me and my Cancer battle.

                             

I promise to write more about my life soon, like TONIGHT, but I just wanted this entry to be a WELCOME post of sorts.  Besides, I kinda have to go to the bathroom..(That’s my code word for having to poop (Sorry Ashlee))

See, Ya Friends…Talk to ya’ll soon.

Posted 3 years ago

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